"Do you know who the f$?k we are?"

I've only been fired twice. The first time was by this lady that ran a Hummus Restaurant in Studio City right across the street from Billy Banks studio. The owner fired me for being a smart ass, and hugging her everytime I saw her. I knew she didn't like me, but I'm kinda like a cat that way, if I know you don't like me, I can't change that, so I'll just hug you till you run away. Her brother ran the kitchen there and spoke very little English. He would always confuse the word "Kitchen" for "Chicken". He'd say. "If you need me, I'll be in the chicken". Sometimes, you just can't change it if people don't like you.

The second time I got fired was a completely different story.

Mexicali, is a Mexican restaurant on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City. It's right across the street from an old movie theater that got turned into a bookstore. I waited tables there in '00 with my roomate at the time, Jimmie Lee (yes that's his real name) who was the bartender. It's a pretty happening restaurant that for some reason brings out the worst in people. Tequilla does strange things to peoples behavior, and there were some nights when I was working, that I swore the bottom of the restaurant would open up, and little impish demons would seep up from hell and start whispering in peoples ear to do awful things. It was no exception on the day I got fired.

In the state of California, if you are going to serve Alcohol outside, you must have it enclosed, so Beer Gardens are abundant. Mexicali had some outside seating, and there is a rod iron fence closing it all in. They squeezed as many tables as they could out there, and there was just enough room for one person to squeeze between the tables and the fence. If you've ever worked on a patio you know how challenging it can be, because you're so freakin' far away from the kitchen.

During Happy Hour, I had a couple sit down get their basket of chips and salsa, and order a Margarita to split between them. They weren't going to order anything because they were expecting some more people.

I think to myself "I understand that, happens all the time." No big deal. Well this couple blows through three baskets of chips in like 15 minutes. I could tell that was going to be dinner for them. I wasn't really bothered by that, it happens all the time.

Their Joiners finally showed up, and each one of them ordered a Margarita, and of course, more chips and salsa. They hung out for a while, and the rest of my tables were turning with diners, so I was doing fine, and makin' money. We were busy that night, and the reservation list was pretty full. It was an hour wait for most of the evening. Sometimes, when you get busy, it's kind of a blessing to have one table, just hangin' out, and not ordering. It allows you to catch up with your other table, and be out of radar range for a while.

But then, the original people who sat down at the table got up and left, leaving the new party there by themselves. And a few minutes later, a new couple, sat down with the two that were already there, and repeated the drill. Margarita, and more chips.

Now, I'm starting to get a little urked. This cycle went on for six and a half hours. By around midnight, there were 5 people sitting at the table that is only supposed to have 4, one guy, had taken a chair from table beside him, and put it on the end between the table and the fence. So every time I went by I had to squeeze my ass between this guys chair and the fence. The guy sitting in the chair, never once helped me out by leaning in, or had any idea that I would have to balance trays of drinks right over his head in order for me to get past him.

A little after midnight, I was trying to deliver some fajitas (if you've ever worked or been to a place that served fajitas on the hot Irons, you know how dangerous, and precarious those things are) and the guy sticking out off the end of the table was leaning back in his chair.

"What the" I'm thinking to myself. I stand right beside this guy for a moment thinking he's going to lean back in and let me squeeze past him. Nothing happens, finally, in fear of burning myself and someone else, I loose it. I kicked the back of this guys chair and said "Move it!!". Everyone at the table turns and looks at me. The guy slides his chair in, and I walk by and safely deliver the fajitas.

I turn around and have to walk back past them on my way to the kitchen, and the guy stands up and keeps me from passing. He says, "Do you have a problem with us?"

At this point I had two things running through my head. One, be humble, appologize, be a servant. Two, rage. I chose poorly.

"Yeah, I have a problem with you, you've been here for six hours, you've got a $45 bill, and you're not letting me do my job!!"

The guy looked at me and said, "Do you know who the f$?k we are?". People in LA are so bloated.

I fire back,"I don't care who you are, you are trashy people!!" I coldly stare. Another guy stands up and yells at me, "No one calls my woman trashy", (as if I wasn't also talking to him) and grabs me by the throat.

Now in my mind, I know he's not going to rip out my esophagus or strangle me, we're in public arguing about unimportant things, so my reaction, is to not react. I remember staring at him and smiling. Thinking to myself, "how surreal is this right now, how did I get to this point?" It was right about that time, that Jimmie Lee jumps over the bar and separates us before and punches were thrown.

That's the closest I've ever gotten to getting into a fight. I'm not a fighter by nature, and in retrospect, I was sabotaging myself a little bit because I was no longer happy in LA. I didn't care about my job, and I didn't really know what I wanted. I just knew that I no longer wanted to be serving fajitas on a patio. I knew I was wrong, I knew that was no way to act, but just once, I wanted to know what it felt like to say what you sometimes think, when peoples behaviors, break the unwritten rules we have in customer service.

As I'm standing behind Mexicali smoking a cigarette, Jimmie Lee walks out and says, "You know your fired, right?" I reply "That's a relief." I didn't even have to finish my shift, I just gave all my paper work and cash away. It was a pivotal point for me on many avenues. I may never know who those people were, but after that whole experience I had a much better understanding who I was.